undercovergurl10

the Girl

The girl sad and scared that she is a freshemn and single.

The girl tried hard to be happy for friends and there happest.

The girl built her walls so she was no longer a fool.

The girl closed herself up so no guy could  see her for her.

The girl put on a smile and sat there pretty not comforable  in her skin.

four years later.......

The girl in collage and scared no longer sad but happy.

The girl she no longer look at those boys and friends that had so much more.

The girl still not happy with her body but mad.

The girl slowly changed everything bout herself.

The girl looked at everyone round and felt small.

Four years later......

The girl married the first boy that ever made her feel like something.

The girl found herself slowly creeping back in to her real self.

The girl no longer loved by the man she call husband.

The girl was on the streets terraifed  and alone no one would love her now.

The girl weeped for weeks and showed herself to anyone she talk to.

Four months later.....

The girl true to herself for the first ime in years talked a man.

The girl fell for him so hard.

The girl heard him say i love to her.

The girl was real to him told him her past.

The girl was called amazing and he asked" will you marry me?"

One year later......

The girl married and happy with herself.

The girl was so awesome to him.

The girls smile is his favortie thing bout her.

The girl was truly for time in her life.

YEARS LATER

wat do u thinked happened

Falling

Everything that is right is wrong now.

Everything that was the same is now diffferent.

The light so bright now dull.

Everything that was slow now is running full speed.

The walls of my city are falling all around me.

I am falling to my knees and i can't get up.

 My world flipped upside down.

All i want to do is sceam stop.

I have lost control that i once had Nothing is helping me now.

I have fallin and i can't get back to my feet.

I lay here with out makeing a sound tears running down my face.

By: montana coonrod

 Life 

life is full dreamer's  that need reality.

life is full wishs that never come true.

Life is full of  troubles that never seem to leave

Life is full of friends that walk way.

Life is full of  "true love"

Life is full of happy familys that never seem to last.

life is full of happy moments that you want back.

Life is full of mistacks that you wish you could fix.

Life is full of times that you get lost and can't find yourself agine.

Life is full of things that try to brake you.

 Life is full of time to understand what is said around you.

Life is full people that don't care.

Life is very hard, yes

Yet you don't want to die why?

By:montana  

WALLS

I have walls built around my heart.

These walls make me safe from  the pain of love.

WALLS

I have the walls built high.

Try to brake my walls you'll have a failure.

WALLS

They hold me nice and safe behind there bordeds.

My walls are filled with love for me.

WALLS

The walls from the outside look hard and cold.

These walls  from the inside are soft and warm.

WALLS

I am called cold and heartless because of the walls.

Yet they are so conforting to me so call me what you like.

These are my walls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

By:tanna  

The Call 

 The sound came though the phone so soft.

The words followed as if not to be there.

I was amazed by the fact that they were there.

They came very fast and soft me missing the message they were giving.

Each word had a different tone to follow making me mezmerized.

They had me locked and no one could touch me.

I  was so safe by those words.

They did not even repeat the message.

I was hurt and didn't know it.

The words were like silk.

They broke my walls around me.

Yet i did nothing.

You find  this weak of how  easy my walls crumbled.

So my walls are even stronger now.

The sound that comes so soft though the phone has no power.

The words that follow so out of place have no power.

The tone different with every word has no power.

No longer am i weak to you but to strong for any one.

I say that's good no one has power over  me now not even you.  

so now  i have what i wanted and people to say i am a every strong will so stay out of my way....

love and miss you molloy ruth me u fair dear.....

FAIR is next month

Forever 

 Forever is love

Forever is truth

Forever is the way of life.

Forever is loveing eye of yours.

Forever is truth he speaks.

Forever is the way our life should be.

Forever is what i want with him.

Forever is what it feels like with him.

Forever is the love we share.

Forever Is the laughs we share.

i  am here with phone in hand laptop in lap and talkin to a guy tht is so not good for me. but 4.some reason i want him so much and i hear molly tellin me to not try to go out with him and yet i am pushin and not goin to give up. So i hold my phone so close and waitin for him to text back. it is beinging to be a drug to me nd i cant stop it. any suggests

 The guy

he sings his feeling of love.

his voice so soft and sweet.

his eyes so bright and perfect.

his love for me so out of control.

The perfect guy

His arms tight around me.

his love holds me here.

he looks at me with loveing eyes.

his love has my heart raceing.

The perfect guy

His future bright.

his dreams are big.

his hope is larger then life.

his faith even bigger.

The perfect guy

his smile takes my breath.

his eyes melt my heart.

his hugs are powerful.

he gives me  butterflys every time he looks at me.

The perfect guy

His love makes me daydream of him.

he in couages me to be my best.

he is out there waiting for me.

he is the one i will find.

The perfect guy

He is not here with me.

his love is for me is not yet found.

his eyes will see me one day.

he is unknow to me but he out there .

The perfect guy.

By:montana

Scream

I scream for help for my future.

I Scream for all the lies that are told every time i turn.

 I Scream to show i am right for a change.

 I scream to prove that i am true for who i am.

I scream to show that your not  true to who you are.

I scream has if i was in pain.

I scream to inform people of truth.

I scream to remember i am alive.

I scream that i a lying here untouched and scared.

SCREAM

By montana  Coonrod

Peace

Peace,Peace,Peace

peace is love in a family.

Peace is hope for a single mother.

Peace is what we are looking for.

Peace,Peace,Peace

Peace is challenge that we should want to take.

Peace is what we love about a place all your own.

Peace is what we find at heart.

Peace,Peace,Peace

Peace is where we find true love.

Peace is like a new couple happy and free.

Peace is when you look into that partners eyes and say i do.

Peace,Peace,Peace

Peace is how you feel at a place safe and warm.

Peace is what you know as joy.

Peace is care free.

Peace,Peace,Peace

By:montana Coonrod

P.S tell me wat u think plzzzzz

stand

i stand here for your support.

i can't stand here waiting for you to need me.

i stand yearning for your attention.

standing is killing me slowly.

You tell me that you love me then leave me standing alone.

standing is a form of pain in your eyes.

Me standing alone with no love from you.

You won't come to save me from standing alone.

You walk away from me cause of looks

YET I AM STILL STANDING ALONE 

Wow. that one word is filled  with nothing important. It says that i am feeling like my friends are moving so fast or the high way to the rest of there lives. Me not so much i am feel that being here is harder then just walking away. now before anyone gets ideas what i mean by that is that i should star over some where else. there are so many things that i wish i could snap my fingers  and it be fix or gone all the way. People around me say they are ther efor me. that y'all understand. YOU all just want to think you know to make y'all selves better. i don't want to hear no more low life drama or bs. i won't listen any more. i love my dad but all these guys that are supposed to be in to me WHERE R THEY! OK we all know that need to lose wieght now get off that. i don't  get boyz cuz i am strong willed kiss my ace. Or they don't see how cool and sweet you r not it i am just a fat ace who could understand more about life out side her perfect little world. no guy that i find anymore attiravt then a wall is what i get.Thanks boyz!!!!!!!!!!!!!! My mom is doing good with not drinking. I am pround but i am tired of trying to be happy all the time to help her from drinking. no longer do i see a wedding in my life but living in aparment by myself and able to handle things on my own. that makes me so mad. i look like crap every day i look like you can conncet the dot on my forhead. i am basicly talking to myself. high school is of f'in scary i am tired of hearing don't worry bout the boy problem you are on the market next year. I manged to run a boy a away on my trip with my friends. I am so freakin powerful hell yeah. You are looking at the girl who is bound to be alone for the rest of her life. so if anyone dose read this don't anything that i have said that is makeing mad plzzzzz.

hello this is my fist journal here in this group so i write and my friends say i am good but they are my friends so i want to reach out side of them for opinions. thanx

LOVE

Love is what?

Can we have love but hate that person?

What  if no guy looks your way and you feel like trsah?

do you still love yourself to a point?

Is love only when you know everything is perfect?

Do you ever truly love something?

Do we humans just find love in anything?

Some of us find love in drugs other find love in haveing sex everyday with a different person.

What dose love truly mean to you?

comment and let me know!

i am the only gurl i think that i know that can make boyz run the opsite way.I am so strange and can't stand that i am so hard headed  andi get sick of myself. no wound so many people don't like me. i am on the beach and i can't even relaxe long enough to let boyz run i one ear and out the other. Why? boyz must really just think of me as a friend.  bein sick of ourself dosen't make you feel any better about your self. 

            runing away  from something you want or from something you are scared of?

        well this hard to expilan there are some many ways you can put this dose this mean the same thing or just oppsites of each other? this is every differnet thing to me this says to me that people  are normally running from something they want and normally  they ar e scared of. me i seem to be always running. feel really wired about talkin to myself considering no one on here is goin to look or reply to this journal. Well if any one dose wat dose this  sayin mean to you? 

even with a friend and good eye candy i still miss my family and my friends i feel so lost with no countcaion with them. myspace is callin my name when i get home i will be home some time saturday and will be ready for it.We have talked to a couple of guys for a few days which is so kool. Even with guys noticeing us has we walk around this small ace island. i still my best friend of all time and can't wait to see her.MOLLY RUTH lol. missin home is hard.

Why?

Why do we?

Why do  we push like crazy?

Why do we push like crazy to be the same?

Why do we push like crazy to be the same as your classmates?

So if we push at a losing game why do we try to win?

should we give up?

You tell me why do this?

this same processes repeated over and over again.

we work harded to try to fix something that is not worth are time.

Yet we try and if you sit there wondering what i am talking about look at your life what is the one thing you are trying to fi.

BY:tanna

sometimes i feel like my life is falling around me and there is no way to stop it. There are so many things that run and race though my head every minute and there is no way to stop all of it. My family is very different i have freedoms that many teens don't have at the same time i feel like a prisoner in my own life. many people see it all good. my family takes and takes from me. there comes a time when people are constantly taking you end up with nothing to give.i get in trouble for the thing that seem so small to the out side world. this past week i got in trouble because i didn't pick up my phone when i was at a friends. at the same time of getting in trouble for little things. most people that know me i hate being single and try really hard to hide it. there are many things that i can't stand about myself but those qualities is what every single one of my friends love. i stand of the crowd not just because of me being older then all my friends because i  am real i will not lie just to make you feel better about your self he verb i give off is "mess with me and see what happens". i have many qualities that just i think push guys away. all my friends don't hear me say much part from moll cause we are so tight. i must offend guys cause even my father not my step dad pretty much walked out of my life and it is so irritating. i just think i am to out spoken. Moms always tell there girls be yourself and guys would be crazy to not like you. To me that has to be a lie because i and strong and out spoken and will not let a guy walk over like stupid girls in the movies makes me the one that stands. Then on top of my own problems my mother wants me to find a hobby so i don't use drugs or self mutation. i had a rough couple of months but i am a chicken to that kind of stuff for now. my weekends that my parents work i clean to help them but i feel taking care of my sister and cooking supper for my dad making sure mom is not stressed out by putting pressure on me it helps them but i feel there is more i could do to help them out. that is all for one night tell me What you think if u check this out